Top 10 SNL Cast Members No. 5: Darrell Hammond

Over the next couple weeks (err, months), I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast, because it just isn't that good.

Darrell Hammond (1995-2009)

The top 5 begins with the longest tenured cast member in show history.

Darrell Hammond is, simply put, an SNL Hall of Famer.

He has appeared on the show more than any other cast member in history, and his impressions total a whopping (and mostly bang-on and hilarious) 107. He also holds the record for most times uttering the catch phrase "Live from New York, its Saturday Night!" All these tidbits alone are enough to put Hammond on my list, but the fact of the matter is, no matter how long he's been around, Darrell Hammond is a beauty.

Nobody will ever forget Darrell's snarly portrayal of Sean Connery on "Celebrity Jeopardy!" That character is a timeless treasure. Even if you aren't that familiar with or a fan of SNL, if you haven't seen a Celebrity Jeopardy! skit, I don't even know you anymore. Suck it, Trebek!

Hammond had the task of playing some very crucial political roles on the show over the years. His Bill Clinton was spot on, as was his John McCain (eerily so), his Dick Cheney and, to a lesser extent, his Al Gore.

No Hammond impersonation made me smile more than his Donald Trump though. Some of the skits during the Trump vs Rosie O'Donnell feud were painfully funny, all thanks to Darrell's work. He pulls of the know everything, I am always right, I'm the boss schtick to perfection.

I give you the following link for your pleasure, and as always, YouTube is your friend...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdREPjP_-EQ

"do do do dee do do.... The Apprentice."

To say that the show misses Darrell Hammond is a gross understatement. Cast members like him come around maybe once every 10-15 years. There is nobody on the current cast list that could even hold a candle to him.

Top 10 SNL Cast Members No. 6: Jimmy Fallon

Over the next couple weeks (err, months), I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast, because it just isn't that good.

Jimmy Fallon (1998-2004)

First of all, it seems ridiculous that Jimmy Fallon left the show SEVEN years ago. Time... man.

Despite Fallon drawing the ire of some SNL traditionalists, I never found him to be anything but funny and entertaining. Sure, he holds the world record for most times breaking the "fourth wall", but I don't think it ever took away from a skit. Quite the opposite, I'd say.

Pictured above is Fallon as "Sully" of "Sully and Denise", the Boston teens who over-do the Boston accent to perfection. "You ah so retahded!" "No, you ah!" When Ben Affleck got involved, it was even better. Yes, I'm also an Affleck apologist.

Fallon is included in this list simply because I think he was great as a cast member and this is my list. It's too easy to look at him breaking down in laughter on camera and hate it. I embraced it and I'm glad chose to do so, because I would have missed out on a lot of funny material.

"Hello, my name is Carson Daly, and I'm a MASSIVE TOOL." I mean, come on.

His most well remembered character is probably "Nick Burns", your company computer guy, always called in to an office to do some tech support. "MOOOOOOOVE!"

While "Sully" is my favourite Fallon character, his impersonation of Barry Gibb is not far behind. His work with Justin Timberlake on the "Barry Gibb Talkshow" was tear-inducingly funny.

And let us not forget that he was the co-host of Weekend Update for a long period of time as well. Solid stuff with the always funny Tina Fey there. Oh how the thought of those two make me hate Seth Meyers even more.

Election thoughts

First of all, if you voted, good on ya, regardless of who you voted for.

I'm no political expert by any means, but the game of politics has always intrigued me, and this particular federal election had me more opinionated than any that came before it.

While it is disappointing that Harper now has a majority government, it is not all that surprising. Third time is a charm, I suppose. The biggest surprise was the downfall of the Liberal Party of Canada.

Since Paul Martin took the throne from Jean Chretien, the party has been on a steep decline to obscurity, and after Monday's results, I'm left to wonder who gets the big red house back in order. To use a sports analogy, its a rebuilding period for the Grits.

Now that the PCs have a majority, they'll have four years to make the general population hate them, in which time the Liberals have to find their "go - to" leader, and four years just happens to be enough time to prepare the prodigal son for his turn in the spotlight.

Enter Justin Trudeau.

The son of former Prime Minister Pierre is a young, bright mind in the political landscape, and has been for quite sometime. By the time the next federal election occurs, he'll have four more years of experience under his belt, and the timing just may be perfect.

The one thing I took out of this election is the disdain for the smear campaign the Tories leveled on Michael Ignatieff. In my opinion, that campaign is the primary reason for the Liberals having their worst showing ever. American style politics are sickening.

And 40% of the voters bought it. Actually, that may not be fair. Not all people who voted Conservative did so because they think Michael Ignatieff is an American. But the ill-informed did. They were told that by their parents, grandfathers, or in laws that have voted Conservative forever.

Its ridiculous that people knocking on doors for the Liberals had to answer questions like "Why would I vote for an American?" Some people believe everything they see and hear, and thats frustrating.

Speaking of 40% of the vote, is it not dumb (for lack of a better term) that that gets you majority government? 60% of the voters did not vote for the PCs. I know this has been a long standing debate in Canadian politics, and every time there is a majority government elected, the other side cries foul over these numbers. The likelihood for the way we count votes and elect a government to change is not good.

Enough with the negatives. There were some bright spots that came out of the election. Elizabeth May won her riding. Baby steps, Greens, baby steps. The Bloc Quebecois is all but decimated. Maybe the biggest surprise of all was that Jack Layton's NDP got more seats in Quebec than any party has ever had. I can't help but think this was more protest voting against the BQ than it was an outcrying of support for NDP policies. It will be interesting to see if the Orange Wave can remain strong in La Belle Province.

So the floor is yours, Mr. Harper. You have your majority. Now lets see what you do with it.

Top 10 SNL Cast Members No. 7: Mike Myers

Over the next couple weeks (err, months), I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast, because it just isn't that good.

Mike Myers (1989-1995)

When I think back to when I first started watching the show, Mike Myers is the first cast member that comes to mind.

His characters are perhaps some of the most memorable in the show's history.

The was Wayne Campbell of course. The Wayne's World sketches always played toward me as a hockey loving Canadian kid, because Wayne was usually wearing a Blackhawks jersey and the sport got incorporated into the conversation more times than not. Not only that, but the skits were always good old juvenile fun.

There was "Coffee Talk" where Myers played host Linda Richman, a worried, stereotypical Jewish woman with a New York accent. The skit was predictable after a while, but then again aren't they all? "Grape Nuts... it contains neither grapes nor nuts... Discuss!"

A character I liked that only saw the light of two episodes was Phillip, a kid chained to a monkey bars set because he had "hyper hypo" disorder. Myers' facial expressions and great sense of physical humour in the Phillip character deserved more than two skits.

Of course there was also "Sprockets", the German talk show hosted by Dieter. Admittedly, this skit was a bit over my head as a 10-12 year old, but I found it hilarious watching Myers squirm in his black tight ensemble.

My favourite Myers character was without a doubt Simon, who hosted his own show from his bathtub. I can still hear Ryan Demille doing a bang on version of "Oh, you know my name is Simon...and I like to do drawrings.." in Mrs. Hair's P.E.C.I. drama class.

A good walk almost ruined

I currently reside on a very rural road in Prince Edward County. Like only-a-few-houses-on-the-entire-road rural.

Over the past couple evenings, I've started taking walks after dinner. And while its nice to take in the surroundings like flocks of geese, blue jays, and spring run-offs, it is impossible not to notice the maddening amount of trash that line the ditch, even way out here, 20 minutes from Picton.

The majority of what I see are beer cans, followed by the inevitable Tim Horton's cups.

The road that goes directly by our front door is used mainly by hunters, or poachers if you will. I have nothing against hunting (I think), but there is still steady traffic down the road to the plentiful woods that line it, and I don't think its legal to hunt much of anything in March.

Again, I know that not all hunters here are keen to simply roll down their window and toss out their trash or empties, but when you can't walk ten feet without coming across an empty Carling can, it is easy to put two and two together.

I admit to throwing trash out the window when I was a kid. Back then you don't think of it. Back then, you really didn't know any better and honestly, it seemed like a pretty common practice. I also used to pick my nose and eat it as a kid, and while I will never stop picking, I assure you I ceased the eating.

It is just sad to see trash in rural ditches. Though I suppose its everywhere these days. My problem is that the same people who complain about anything new coming to this area (see: WIND POWER) and maintain the "Not in my back yard!" mentality are very likely to be the same people who have no problem tossing their junk and trash wherever they feel like it. At least the cynic in me sees it that way.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be retracing my steps with a couple garbage bags. One for empties, one for the rest. Even though I'll only be living here for the next couple weeks before moving into the metropolis of Picton, it just seems like the right thing to do.

Top 10 SNL Cast Members No. 8: Adam Sandler

Over the next couple weeks, I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast.

Adam Sandler (1991-95)

Sandler was a big part of the glory years of the show, along with the likes of Farley, Schneider, Spade, Hartman, et al.

My personal favourite Sandler character was Opera Man (pictured above). More than anyone else during the early 90's, Sandler seemed to have the best chemistry with Weekend Update anchor Kevin Nealon, who didn't make this list, but was great nonetheless.

Sandler also had an amazing connection with Chris Farley, and some of his best work on SNL was done with Chris by his side. Schmitt's Gay, the gay beer ad is the first thing that comes to mind. Google and YouTube are your friend.

Another lesser-remembered but favourite skit of mine was Sandler's "The Denise Show", which simply featured him, a couch, and a picture of his ex Denise, who recently dumped him. He just spends the entire bit moaning and groaning about her and wondering who she is making out with now.

Throw in the "Gap Girls", his Thanksgiving and Hanukkah songs, and Sandler is one of the first names you remember when even thinking about the show.

Top 10 SNL Cast Members No.9: Dana Carvey

Over the next couple weeks, I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast.

Dana Carvey (1986-1993)

Despite more memorable characters like "Church Lady", and "Garth" from Wayne's World, Dana Carvey makes my list for one simple, awesome reason:

His Jimmy Stewart impression.

One of my favourite SNL skits of all time is the lost, alternate ending to the timeless holiday classic, "It's a Wonderful Life."

Carvey plays Stewart to perfection, and the film ends with his character beating the hell out of greedy Old Man Potter.

The ultimate impersonator, Carvey was also hilarious when doing George H.W. Bush in the early 1990's. "Not gonna do it... wouldn't be prudent."

Ironically, Carvey hosts SNL tomorrow night. Fingers are crossed for some Jimmy Stewart.

Post Script: I always thought the Church Lady character looked a lot like my Aunt Sandra. Still do.

Top 10 SNL Cast Members No. 10: Molly Shannon

Over the next couple weeks, I'll be counting down my choices for the all time best cast members from Saturday Night Live, one of my favourite shows over the years.

Two certain criteria need to be met: 1) no cast members before 1990, because I didn't watch the show before that time, and 2) no members of the current cast.

Molly Shannon (1995-2001)

It may come as a surprise that Molly Shannon is the only female cast member on my list. A bigger surprise may be that I chose her over the likes of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

It all comes down to original characters, and thats why Molly is on the list and why I always found her so funny.

My favourite Shannon character, by far, is pictured above. Sally O'Malley. "I like to KIIIICK.. PUNCH, annnnd KIIIIICK!" I'm FIFTY... FIFTY YEARS OLD!" It makes me laugh out loud just thinking about it.

Her most memorable character is, without a doubt, Mary-Katherine Gallagher, the ambitious, nerdy catholic school girl who dreams of a life on stage. While the character was certainly funny, it was so more in a slapstick kind of way, which is why I always preferred her more subtle characters.

No character was more subtle than her Terri Rialto, co host of the NPR radio show "Delicious Dish". Good times, good times.

Other forgotten but great Molly Shannon characters were Circe Nightshade, co-host of "Goth Talk", and Miss Colleen of "Dog Talk."

A lot of people pine of Kristen Wiig of today's SNL cast, but to me, she doesn't hold a flame to what Molly Shannon did on the show in the early 00's.

Currently reading: The Tiger

First and foremost, this is not a book about Tiger Woods, as most assume.

Driving around and listening to CBC Radio one day, they had an author on who wrote about a tiger in Siberia who was injured by a poacher. The tiger, apparently a very vengeful and intelligent creature, stalked this poacher for the better part of a year.

The tiger followed the hunter's scent back to his remote cabin and just circled the area, forcing the the poacher and his companion dog inside until forced to come for food. The beast finally left for a day, so it was assumed the coast was clear.

The man and the dog were both eaten.

Keep in mind that generally tigers won't kill humans for a food source. Usually a tiger attack in the wild is just a show of dominance and a warning that this is their territory. This story is different because the tiger had a vendetta.

Not only did it kill and eat the man and his dog, but it went out of its way to completely rip to shreds anything that had the man's scent on it. His tools, weapons, clothing, and even a part of his cabin were all mangled by the tiger.

A really interesting story.

I'm also learning a great deal about the Siberian landscape and the history and culture of the far east of Russia, something I've always been interested in.

John Vailiant is the author, by the way. This book can be picked up in most stores now for $20.

These are a few of my favourite things - Black Currant Tea

This could turn into a regular feature on the blog. I tell you about things I enjoy, just like Oprah. That sounds just as fun for you as it is for me!

I've liked tea for a long time, before I started drinking coffee, even. Like anything else when you are just starting out, I stuck to the generic Earl Greys and Orange Pekoes. But then those became boring.

Much like beer, I like to try a lot of different flavours of tea. Last year, in one of the variety packs I had, I came across the black currant bag.

I grew up on a farm, with several currant bushes scattered around the property and I can remember tasting them as a kid and finding them rather bitter, so I wasn't too eager to try them in tea form.

Much to my surprise, it was the best tea I've ever had, and remains so to this day. I'm not stuck on any one particular brand, but the best I've had so far is Twinings. I just came back from the Tea Garden here in North Bay with a canister of loose leaf black currant tea and an infuser... my first attempt at going the non-bag route. Yuppie-ness attribute, + 1.

Funny tea story: I can remember sitting around with my buddies Wes and Jamie on a Friday night in the summer of 2004. We were all in our early twenties and probably should have been out enjoying something more strong than tea, but there we were, three guys in the prime of their partying lives, sitting around my parents kitchen table sipping on tea and playing Rummy. I just find that hilarious.

Four sites you should be wasting your time on

If you procrastinate as much as I do, and enjoy it as such, well then these four websites are right up your proverbial alley.


Of the four, drop everything you are doing and spend your entire morning/afternoon/evening laughing and crying at http://www.whenparentstext.com/ The title speaks for itself. Here is a little taste of what you can expect:

You're welcome!

The others:




Look at This F#%$'in Hipster

This site has now produced a must-have book, sold wherever quality books are sold.

Got a pair of black rimmed nerd glasses? Have ironic facial hair? Skinny jeans? Love Vampire Weekend? Well I hope not, because this site makes fun of all those things. Hysterically.


Texts From Last Night

We've all done it. Drunk texting. This site exposes all sorts of drunken mishaps that people for one reason or another decided to share with someone else through the wonderful world of cell phones.

Added Bonus: The texts are tagged in area codes and you can search your very own. Here is one that came up from a 705 area code search:

"(705 - Ontario)

Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaaand I'm eating it."


Awkward Family Photos

Last but not least, another one that is pretty self-explanatory. Just some awe inspirng family photographs on display here. Not just mullets, either.

My problem with protests

Originally from June of 2010, this is re-posted from my older, now defunct blog.

What a mess in Toronto this weekend. While it's not completely unexpected, when we actually see it come to fruition, it is still a significant black eye on our great country.

What ever happened to peaceful, hippy-esque protests? Today, it seems people with an issue with authority sink to violence far too soon. Harvey Milk is rolling in his grave.

You know that guy with the Ed Hardy tee shirt and six different tribal tattoos, none of which he knows the meaning of, thus making him completely full of shit? That is what the majority of protesters are today. Like I said yesterday, I doubt half the people in downtown Toronto\ on Saturday even know what they were protesting. I would LOVE, LOVE for a reporter to ask a protester "Hey, what are you here protesting for today, what do you have an issue with?" The answer you get back would be comical.

For the life of me, I'll never understand the violence associated with protests today. Why bother smashing windows to Subway? Are you anti-subsmarine sandwiches? If you are, you really shouldn't be. They are delicious. Hell, most people smashing windows in Toronto yesterday probably work in retail themselves. Hypocritcal morons.

If you were a politician at the G20 or G8, which type of protest would be more willing to listen to: The calm, peaceful, marching, singing type, which started off so innocently yesterday? Or the mob-mentality, let's burn a cop car, flip off every cop we see, candy ass type?

If the "Black Bloc" even know what they have a problem with, how do they think their point is going to get across to anybody of significance by pulling the type of bullshit they did yesterday? Real tough, those Black Bloc members too. Dressed in black, hiding their faces (just like the KKK mind you), and then retreating and changing into normal civilian clothing so they blend it. Gutsy. Then they likely go back to their retail job where they peddle clothing made in Taiwanese sweat shops to earn a living. Again, making them COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT.

Look, a protest done right is a powerful thing. It can be moving and can have a real purpose. Just look at what Harvey Milk did in San Francisco in the 1970's. Just look what the flower children did a decade before that.

Throwing a brick through an Eatons Centre window or throwing rocks at police officers is not going to accomplish anything. Pussies.